Depression and problems with friends

Many children with arthritis experience feelings of depression, low self-esteem and poor self-image, and tiredness. Adults who also cope with chronic pain share some of these feelings. These feelings may arise from young people’s sensitivity about being unable to do things like their friends, and these feelings are accentuated during adolescence, and are discussed in the following chapter. The situation can seem bleak for a young person with arthritis, and the future uncertain.

Sometimes the strength of a child’s depression is underestimated by parents, and assumed to be premature moodiness from normal adolescence. Support from other family members and open communication about thoughts and feelings are powerful tools to combat shared feelings of depression. It is essential that you create space and time to relax together and do fun things.

Difficulties with friendships are common and children feel disadvantaged by their limitations and the varied demands of treatment. Children in most cultures pick on weaker members of the group and your child may endure hostile name-calling, unkindness and varying forms of bullying.

Supporting children with arthritis

There are no easy solutions to real challenges they face but these things can help:-

• Reassure your children that you love them, that you are on their side and you will tackle the problems together.
• Help your child develop confidence, always encourage her efforts.
• Say how proud you are of them.
• Encourage their self-esteem, involve them in things they enjoy and can do.
• Avoid situations that will highlight what they have difficulty doing, for example on sports day suggest they hold the tape, or keep the record of winners rather than race with their peers.
• Talk about positive ways of being friendly to other children.
• Talk to school staff or friends’ parents as soon as problems arise –both for advice and practical assistance to stop problem behaviours.
• Keep calm.
• Talk about the situation with the whole family, face the problem together.
• Siblings can offer valuable insights, advice and solutions.