Ideas about how fit relatives and friends could help

• Try to find information about local support groups and local services at the library or advice centres. Write this down and give to parents for them to use or not, when they are ready to. Articles about weird cures for arthritis are rarely welcome.
• Prepare a main meal item that can be frozen and used when needed.
• Bake cakes or biscuits; very pressed families have far less time than you to make such treats.
• Write a card to encourage them.
• Send flowers.
• Offer to help with the garden.
• Offer to help with shopping, or fetching prescriptions or medicines.
• Offer to accompany child and parent to different appointments. Help with transport and moral support during these journeys is valued by parents.
• Offer to baby sit, or if you live too far away, you could have each of the children in turn to stay. Each child will value having special time with you, and it is a good way of really getting to understand each child. Don’t be afraid to have the child with arthritis to stay – they need time away from home too.
• If appropriate, could you stay at the family home, and mind the children while the parents have a night away? This means less disruption to the normal routine for the children because toys and any special equipment remain at home.

You may feel you live too far away or too frail to help, your moral support can still make such a difference to a struggling parent. Regular phone calls or letters help to show that you care, even when you are unable to physically help. You still have a invaluable role in supporting the parents and the children: keep going!